Ernest Hemingway

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

Henny Youngman

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

Mitch Hedberg

"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

Pablo Picasso

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."

Luis Bunuel

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

Samuel Goldwyn

"A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad."

Ogden Nash

"The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat."